Chris Hanson has been one of my best friends since the day we met 15 years ago.  Though never living in the same state, we've actually been through a lot together.  Mostly what we've "been through" has been the funnest, funniest, most ridiculous crap two people can get into.  He's tried to set me up with literally every single friend he's ever had, and I scare every single one of them away.  The dude still refuses to leave my side, though.  I seriously do not understand why he sticks around for my friendship.  At this point, I visit his aunts and cousins without him, and I'm all but expected at Christmas Eve.  I would undoubtedly walk into a burning building for this guy and I know for certain he'd do the same for me.  So, when he met a girl at work however many years ago, I was DYING to love her.  And, spoiler alert, Ashley and I keep in better touch than Chris and I do.  She's an aaaangel.  The best cook, the prettiest girl, super funny and fun and chill and cool.  Just adore her.  Ashley was nine months pregnant at their wedding.  Wanna see? It's right HERE.   Oh, and before they got pregnant they adopted a pitbull named Benny.  Benny is such a good dog I'm kindof embarrassed that my dogs do nothing outside of kiss people to death.  I slept over their house and started shooting at about 6am.  We took a family nap at like 10. 
Hanson, have I ever expressed my love for you?  Oh, I have?  A couple times?  Oh, ok.  I love you guys.  Thank you so much.  See you on Christmas Eve.  Promise I won't bawl at dinner and then "tip" the church $100.   Good god, you guys.  Why are you friends with me? 
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